one nation under CHICKEN FRIES

It's my BIRTHDAY TODAY! My first birthday plan is totally foiled, though, because I THOUGHT the IHOP was open 24 hours. I was going to get as many people as I could together and we were going to go get funnel cakes (they've got funnel cakes now!). But the one in Bloomington is only 24-hour on the weekends (I believe I've mentioned before that Bloomington sucks, yes?), so I'm trying to formulate Plan B.

Please put your suggestions in my comment box, below. Thank you.

I goes on with a distress to try to shape a future all by myself as a self-reliant romanticist a time

FAVORITES

[An author who has affected you] Anne Lamott
[What you most like to do on a Sunday] Swimming, watching cable TV, cooking bizarre food, talking to friends
[A monument you would like to view from your bedroom] Mount Random! What kind of a question is that?!!
[A taste that makes you melt] cashews, red wine, dark chocolate
[A hobby that occupies your time] Cable TV! Swimming! Acting (can I say that's my hobby anymore?), knitting
[The film you could watch over and over] Peyton Place, Charade, Taxi Driver, the list goes on and on
[Your motto] Don't stop believing; hold on to that feeling.

FRUITS OF YOUR LABOR
[Your approximate annual income] below the poverty level. WELL below.
[Something important on your computer desk] I should have a computer desk?
[What you would keep in a safe, if you had one] My platinum brassiere!
[Things you like to buy] Food and clothes and shelter.
[If you could afford it at this moment, you would buy:] a caftan with a matching turban.
[You collect] Junk mail. I'm just too lazy to recycle it.
[Your strangest possession] My MIND.
[Your prized possession] My MIND!
[If your house was burning and you only had time to rescue 3 things, they would be:] Geoffrey/wallet/my MIND.

MORALS
[Something forbidden you have done that might surprise even your closest friends] Define forbidden. Define surprise. Define closest.
[The appropriate age for having sex] I think we can all agree on 65? By the time you're 65, even if you're not married, dammit, have some sex!!!!
[The first time you had sex, you were how old] 23. but I felt 65.
[Your most recent lie] Probably some excuse I gave for being late to something?
[A lie you tell yourself] that the check is in the mail that the dog ate.
[A drug or alcoholic beverage you take on a regular basis] I drinks me some wine.
[If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to:] Sex, maybe?
[What would your reaction be if your spouse or partner cheated on you] Well, this actually happened to me. And I was surprisingly calm, I would go so far as to say gracious. Until he insisted on being in a play with me where he played my cheating spouse, that is. At that point, I got medieval, but tell me girls... who wouldn't??
[A time you purposely hurt someone emotionally] I said all kinds of mean things to my cheating spouse! At the tie, it felt more like retaliation, but I realize now that detachment from the situation would have been far healthier than yelling.

FAMILY
[Which of your parents do you strongly resemble] My mom.
[If you didn't know your parents, you would choose these 2 famous people to take their place] No! I like my mom and dad!
[Something your parents did that you have never forgiven] They BOTH made me all neurotic-ey about my weight. And we're all plump as partridges, every one of us!
[A trait you do not share with your siblings] Physically, my sister and I don't look related. Also, I would venture to guess that her maternal impulse is a little stronger than mine.
[Your least favorite relative] Bizarrely, my uncles on my mom's side of the family are both mean-mistreaters. Don't like them much.

FRIENDS
[Four traits you look for in a friend] A thoughtful, funny person who has a really wide bandwidth for tolerating people very different than them, i.e. eccentrics, and is also a smarty.
[The friend you have known for the longest time] Nicole! I believe we've been friends for over HALF OUR LIVES this year!
[The friend you miss the most] Nicole and all my Iowa homies.
[A friend who makes you laugh] Geoffrey
[A friend who you can tell anything] Nicole!
[A friend you can go to for advice] Again with the Nicole.
[A friend you should not have kissed] Nicole. Just kidding!! BWAAAHAAAA! I have actually had two kiss happenings over the last year that just shouldna happened. One was a feller from Iowa Summer Rep, and we're still friends, and the other is a guy from here that was just very awkward.
[A friend you may lose soon] I am worried that I won't be able to keep in touch with Danni as much as I would like to, she's an AMAZING friend I've made at ISF this year but she lives in Indiana.
[An acquaintance you would like to make a friend] I love the costume ladies here, I want them to be my friends.
[A friend to whom you have something important to say, but have not yet had the courage] I don't know!

Mao BEE!

Guess WHAT? The cat got mentioned in the Chicago Tribune! She's a little disappointed that they didn't review Twelfth Night, because that's the one she's in the most, but she still mentioned well in the Macbeth and Henry VIII review when she not even really in the those shows very much! (picture the cat sitting up very straight and puffing out she fur, and smiling proudly).

I going to go have some Chocolicious Soy Dream to celebrate!

A mao!

I am fat boy! It's be cool!

Readers, a young man from Canada has asserted that he isn't impressed with cable television because "nothing's ever on." Well, listen up, Gloomy Gus, from some American-style tips to enhance your viewing pleasure.

1) Make a sport of it! See how badly you can develop an obsessive-compulsive fixation on finding the very best thing to watch on TV at that moment. Your thought-process will occur thusly:

"O.K., I've got the E! True Hollywood Story on 54 and a Queer Eye I've already seen even though it was good on Bravo, so I'll use the "last" button on the remote and switch between the two during commericals!"

When both channels start showing commericals at the same time, it's time to start the process over again!!! What a barrel of monkeys!

2) Watch Elimidate.

3) The weak part of your mind will spend commerical breaks worrying about your lack of will. Remembering how you used to spend time with friends and garden and suchlike. DON'T GIVE IN. Tell yourself it's o.k., because it IS! And then have a snack of some kind. I like cashews, myself.

Remember, Canada-man, cable television is not about what's on. It's about who's watching. Happy trails!

you can shirt this have

O.K., about cable television. It has hold of my mind and my spirit. Have you seen Scanners? Because it's like that, when I watch the cable television. This morning I found myself watching the True Hollywood Story of The Price is Right, for God's sake. People, I used to READ.

I love that puppy commercial, though. If you've seen it once, you know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Pedigree Puppy Food. They're for puppies. I actually teared up the first time I saw it. How come I am completely unmoved by baby-item commercials, but I weep when I see puppy commercials? Cause I'm a freak, that's why.

a person whos always brilliant is wonderful

MESMERIZED. That is the word to describe me in front of the digital-cable equipped television in my fabulous air conditioned living room. I can't stop watching E!, the channel that provides its own punctuation. I am MESMERIZED. I haven't watched TV on a regular basis in years, and now I can't stop. Well, actually I can. To tell you the truth, I can already feel the novelty wearing off. I mean, how much can one learn about celebrity divorces and plastic surgeries until it all runs together into a big sticky mess? Answer: about a week's worth.

So Henry VIII is opening tonight. After this, our rehearsals are done and all we do is perform shows for the rest of summer. Don't get wrong, I think acting is hard work and all, but sometimes it just feels like such a free ride!

nation of baby gang!

So Shakespeare Festival has opened. I still can't call it "Shakes Fest," it just sounds overfamiliar, and sort of gross to me. Shakes. Makes me cringe. There are a lot of words that are like that. Moist. Slacks. And if you round the vowels enough, "make love." Summit House, can I get an amen?

The festival has been pretty amazing. I have met some extraordinary people. I really love the people I've worked with this summer. And the shows are fantastic, and (I know this sounds little but it's big) my costumes are SO AWESOME! I'll try to get some photos to post, they just kick ass. I've wanted to wear a dress like Maria's since I read The Little Princess in the third grade. And my Hecate costume is so spookyeerieweird! I love it. Henry VIII isn't quite as cool, but it's still neat-o. It's made of what looks to me like black and orange carpeting, and the sleeves are ten pounds each. I resemble a couch from the '70s. A very charming, Spanish-imspired couch, but a couch nonetheless.

One thing about being an actor, there's not much else going on in your life. Acting is pretty much all I'm doing. As a matter of fact, I have to go to rehearsal in about 45 minutes. I guess there could be more going on, but I'm not living in housing this summer with the company, so I'm quite removed from the social aspects of the Festival. Which is o.k. for me. It looks like a hassle being around the same people all day long for three months, and no one has really freed themselves from the impulsive (and often sordid) pair-bonding that goes on (except of course, for myself, dear reader).

O.K., here's an example. One of the "really nice guys" in the Festival was dating someone on one of the crews for a while, but rumor had it (because he was telling everyone) that she was "crazy" and was leaving him notes about how she loved him and stuff. He was "too nice of a guy" to hurt her by breaking it off, so he KEPT GOING OUT WITH HER but told everyone (behind her back, of course) that he thought she was nuts. She has now left because her show opened so her work is done here, and all the girls were like "Oh, I want to go out with him! He's such a Nice Guy!" To which I replied, how nice is he if he keeps doing a girl even though he doesn't take the relationship seriously and has told all of us that he thinks she's nuts? Readers, is that a Nice Guy??

I'm too old for this crap.