O.K., so there's not much going on here because I'm sick as a dog (and that's awkward when you're a cat). There's been a virulent flu strain getting traded around and around the building for the last three weeks and this is technically the second time I've been felled. I am unamused. I keep getting bad news, too, which is just not helping. Things seem vaguely morbid. So I don't know... send me some good vibes if you can spare any.

I would like to mention that I have seen American Splendor recently, and there's really nothing I can think of that's better than the scene with Harvey and Toby in the car on the way to Revenge of the Nerds (which incidentally is indeed a movie about the triumph of the human spirit). Which just made me want to shave my head all the more. Paul Giamatti, you got robbed!

i didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, i want to speak to my grandma

So it's looking like I'm going to cut my hair, but not actually shave my head. Which in some ways is good. I knew, for example, that if I actually decided to shave that I was going to have to call the Student Counseling Center and have a trained professional on call for the moment when I realized how stupid I looked and started freaking out. And that I was going to have to go hat and possibly wig shopping well in advance of the depilitation so that I would have stuff to hide my freakishly-shaped head under (It really is a weird shape. There's a big dent in the center... it's bizarre.). I'm a strange mixture of disappointed and relieved.

I actually took a poll about the headshaving in my class today and they couldn't decide, either. People waffled; some came out really strong for shaving and then later balked. It was odd. I should have offered to do it in class and then taken the poll. We also watched Taxi Driver, which was fun.

And speaking of films by directors who are nominated for Oscars this year, I am graciously wishing best of luck to him and to all the Oscar nominees for 2004, but I have to admit that I am not as enthused about the whole thing now that Paul Giamatti has been snubbed. I just think that oversight is sick and stupid and wrong. I may shave my head, after all, in protest.

Hold Out! to the limit. the live with specific purlooses

O.K., I am delighted because I got the part of my happiness in Marisol! I'm going to be playing June, the co-worker of Marisol and the brother of Lenny, and I eventually turn into a skinhead, and then back into a good person. I am also delighted because almost all my good friends got into this play, and so my social life will become much more compact (is this necessarily a good thing, though?... hmmmm..).

Also I am delighted because this summer I will play the part of Maria in Twelfth Night! I am also playing Hecate and Griffith in Scottish Play and Henry VIII, respectively. I am also understudying Lady Scottish Play. Here's the thing though... for June, I would really like to be shaving my head. Or at least shaving most of my head. I mean, come on! I've decided to Be An Actor. When am I ever going to get to shave my head with impugnity ever again? And I'm kind of attracted the thought of wearing femmy sundresses and having no hair at all. And I also would like to wear one of those baby headbands with the flower on it. I think that would be pretty damn funny. BUT. Because I'm playing Maria, I don't think I will be allowed to shave it. I'll probably have to wear a skullcap. Which is fine, I guess, but I am kind of perversely attracted to the idea of baldness.

I would also like my friends Heather and Gypsy to do my hair. I would like to go to Salon de Basement of Summit House and have my head shaved by my two favorite often-bald people. That would rock!

start a festival from now!

I hope that you are wearing black and not buying anything today, people. Because those in the know, such as myself, are protesting the coronation (inauguration) by doing just those things. If you are insisting on wearing colors and participating in consumer culture, then you must be all 90 degree angles, chucklehead!

Sha-NAP!

rainbow drop, i won't have anything to do with you!

Here are the ideal conditions for auditioning for shows: have a broken foot and also the flu. I passed out from exhaustion at 9:00 last night. I even slept through my phone ringing, apparently. And now I have to go teach. Happily, I don't have very much to do today. I'll just give them syllabi and chat briefly and then set them free.

If you have any spare good vibrations, please send them my way. Preferably ones that will heal me from my now-multiple infirmities?

Mao said the tired cat-
K

please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person

Yeah, so Happy Fun Boot may be supposed to fix my broken bone, but they're going to have to cut my foot off anyway because of frostbite due to the fact that it's FREEZING OUTSIDE and there are not enough socks on the planet to keep my foot warm in a SURGICAL SANDAL. Grumpy, angry, blah blah blah!

I had the second half of general auditions today. I have no idea what will happen.

And tonight I'm having people over for dinner. And making my unbelievable burritos (Summit House, can I get a he-he-hellow!). And on the hi-fi will be the mellow sounds of Magnolia Electric Company, the CD my good friend brought me from that hotbed of indie rock happenings, Iowa Damn City. I haven't listened to it yet, but I hear they're pretty great.

Oh, my God. School starts in two days. I'm 31, and I'm thinking this.

sigh

let's begin to love myself over again

O.K., I'm really mad. I went to the Doctor yesterday and had my foot x-rayed and it's totally BROKEN. And I have this ugly shoe I have to wear for three weeks. With an open-toe, just in time for January. The doctor told me I'm unlucky because I have very good bone density, but very delicate bones, and I said no YOU'RE unlucky, because I'm not wearing that thing! And she said, no, then you're unlucky because your foot will probably break again. And I said no, YOU'LL probably break again! And she said to stop wasting her time, and I said no, YOU stop wasting your time! And then she left the office.

Then a new lady came in with an ugly shoe and she made me put it on. Actually, it sort of looks like something I would buy. I mean, I wear Birkenstocks, for God's sake. If this were made of suede and were by Earthshoes, then I probably would buy them. NOT IN NAVY BLUE, THOUGH! It doesn't go with anything! And they only gave me one.

WAAAAH!

be walked hand in hand so you won't get lost!

I should be home memorizing my monologue, but I'm not. Bad cat. Instead I'm out walking around in FLIP-FLOPS because it's like 90 degrees outside! Well, 50. I'm still impressed. And it thunderstormed last night, which was nice, because my bed is oriented so I can look out a big picture window, so I watched the lightning and felt cozy and probably snored.

I got to show my dad my apartment and stuff today. It was weird seeing it through my family's eyes. My sister and her son were completely focused on the fact that I live in the ghetto (which I do, fine), but my dad was able to see its merits. If you're at my house in the daytime it's really not that bad. The disturbing thing was that I cleaned and cleaned my two little rooms and it still looks cluttered to me. I think I'm messy. Not dirty or stinky... but definitely messy.

I need to make a Goals for the New Year post. I'm not going to do it right now, though. O.K., next installment will have something to do with goals.

Love, K

oh, you're gonna get it now, missy

My sister just forwarded me a mass e-mail (she always does that, she just forwards stuff, she never writes me) and said that the person least likely to respond to the e-mail was me! WHAT? So what if it's true, I'm mad! So I'm posting the whole thing on my blog, in an effort to increase her sense of remorse at having slighted me. O.K., these are my answers:

1. What time is it? 2:54 pm

2. Name as it appears on birth certificate: Fancy Mackalishious (you put your married name in the e-mail! O.K., seriously as an aside, when you put our name in the spellchecker for blogger you get 'hardscrabble' and 'hardcore' as suggestions! RIGHT ON!!!)

3. Nicknames: Kitty Mao

4. Piercings: nada!

5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theater? White Noise. Please refer to previous post for my detailed opinion.

6. Eye Color: Mochachocolotta-yahyahyah!

7. Place of birth: Huntington Beach, CA. Represent fo da OC, yo.

8. Favorite foods: tofu, vegetables, PIZZA MUNCHIES from HEALTH IS WEALTH!

9. Ever been to Africa: No

10. Ever been toilet papering: Hell, yeah!

11. Love someone so much it made you cry: Yes

12. Been in a car accident: yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

13. Crouton or bacon bits: Bac-uns, they're made from TVP and they turn every salad into a PARTY!

14. Favorite day of the week: Not wednesday. It doesn't even get a capital W.

15. Favorite restaurants: Lou Henri, Hamburg Inn, Masala, India Cafe (all in IC)

16. Favorite flower: I like em all!

17. Favorite sport to watch: NADA!

18. Favorite drink: Tea, cold or hot

19. Favorite ice cream: Mochachocolotta-yahyahyah!

20. Disney or Warner: shrug

21. Favorite fast food restaurant: meh, I don't really like it anymore.

22. What color is your bedroom carpet: tan

23. How many times did you fail your driver's test: never did, surprisingly

24. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail: Sherene

25. Which stores would you max out your credit card: Screw credit cards!

26. What do you do most often when you are bored: watch me some movies on my teevee!

27. Bedtime: 11 or 12

28. Who will respond to this e-mail the quickest: i don't care!

29. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond:
My sister. Right back atcha!!!

30. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire:
Wha-huh?

31. Favorite TV Shows: Fawlty Towers, Keeping Up Appearances.

32. Last person you went to dinner with: David and Adal.

34. What are you listening to right now: Chattering in the library, and some typing.

35. What is your favorite color: Green!

36. Lake, Ocean or river: Oceanottalatta-yahyahyah

37. How many tattoos do you have: zippo!

38. Time you finished this e-mail: 3:00

39. Which came first the chicken or the egg: GOD. YEAH! SUCK ON THAT ONE, QUESTIONAIRRE!

40. How many people are you sending this email to: Well, it was just my sissy. But now it's all my loyal reader. s. ?

Look it, taste it, feel it, and get it. Then please touch yourself in your original way.

So you would think that feet would not be a good post topic for a blog, but you'd be wrong, pal-ey! My right foot is INVENTING NEW COLORS TO BE, so I think I'm going to go to The Doctor tomorrow and have them tell me to rest and put ice on it. I'm a little worried, though, about my movement class which starts in one week... heh heh... oops. Actually, I'm totally walking like a normal person, it's just the mad, impassioned dancing that has been a challenge. I kind of forgot about my injury the other day and started dancing in the kitchen (why is the kitchen the best place to dance? It just really is for some reason!) and, well, the sensation wasn't awful, but it was somewhat alarming.

Yep.

I went to the movies a couple of nights ago and saw White Noise, which was SO dumb that I got mad. But I liken my annoyance with that movie to the annoyance I felt watching card tricks earlier in the evening; it was the lack of explanation. So this guy turns an entire DECK of cards into the card I chose, and I was like 'well, how did you do that?' and he goes 'magic!' and I was like, 'FUCK YOU!' and I think the same reaction occurred when I saw that movie and they never bothered explaining who the hell those three guys were. I mean, all they would have had to do was say 'oh, this big rotting structure where the climax of the plot occurs was built on the site of an Injun Burial Ground!' and I'd have been fine with that. Well, no I just would have found other things to complain about.

La, la, la.

SO I'm reading Jonathan Strange and Mr. Nerrol and I think you all should, too.

Okey dokey...

Love, K

donky fried chicken!

There's a new prom afoot? And mine is broken? That's terrible for cats! They hate it when they can't go to proms. Maybe I'll come anyway and make up a crutch-dance that will sweep the nation.

It's icy here. Freezing rain on top of icy snow all day and night long. And I hope we all know what movie we watch when the weather is like that?

O.K., I have to go and get some Chinese food now with my companiero, David. And then I will convince him to go see Sideways with me again!

Mao!
K

Dumpling stuffed with the ovary and digestive glands of a crab

What??! Never mind. The real news is that I think I broke my foot while I was jumping around in the basement! The cat I narrowly missed stepping on is right as rain. My foot, however, is multi-colored and puffy. I haven't gone to the doctor yet, but I did go to the movies and see Sideways, which did make me feel better. It was absolutely beautiful. Virginia Madsen made me cry with happiness. What's more, we went to the Collins Road Cinema in Cedar Rapids, which you have to experience at some point in your life. The seats are comfy-style chairs, the popcorn is magnifique (you dispense your own real butter, and what's better than real butter on your popcorn? NOTHING!) AND ON TOP OF THAT SPAGHETTI, I have never been wished a Happy New Year so sincerely by a movie theatre factotum in my whole life. He really meant it. And I have witnesses that I wasn't just hallucinating this whole experience. It was all Jody and Michael and I could talk about on the way home. And Lisa Ann told me that they let people in wheelchairs in for free. So it's the movie theatre with a heart. *sigh*

I was so completely amazed by how great the movie was that I finally got off my ass, dragged my broken foot behind me to the Movie Fan and got a copy of Citizen Ruth, which I found to be hilarious in parts (mainly the exchange between Ruth and her mom, short but totally brilliant), but ultimately disappointing because it was so bleak. I really loved Sideways, though. It's just totally amazingly beautiful. Go see it! If you already have, then go with me and see it again!

All this sitting around and watching movies has irritated my knitting problem. So now I'm making mittens and wristwarmers and I want to make a pair of legwarmers if I can find some yarn. And I'm going to try and make a journal using the needle and thread method. I've never made a book before.

Mao!