I AM PRETTY ELEPHANT! LOVE ME WELL!

Ms. Jackson,
Thank you for your interest in our bundt cakes. The cake you are describing is called "Dulce de Leche" and comes in 48 oz.

We hope this information will be of help to you.

Best regards,
Customer Service
B. C. Bundt, Inc.


Also, Velveteen! Check out my cute knitty link!!! There's a sweater in this issue that is "mellow" that I want to try making. C'est adorable!

Please make me clean. Because I always want to be clean sometimes.

O.K., major jackpot today. The interior designer was cleaning out her sample library and gave me all the old stuff we don't have room for. I am making SUCH a quilt out of these. I am the luckiest girl in the world!

maomao!

We want to do and get good things because we want to enjoy the memories

So I went to see this band last night at this place and it was totally amazing!!! If you get a chance to see this band live, you should do it.

I just went outside for lunch and played bocce ball with my colleagues. This job ain't so bad...

Hot Bowel Rice

I ushered at my old theatre the other night and it was really a good show. In an amazingly crappy space. The performances were excellent, though. I wish there were better venues for local theatre on the cheap in this town, because there are a lot of talented people who want to do it.

I really do like Merle Haggard, actually.

And also this guy.

were every were so everybody was rearry high

O.K. the thing I'm doing? I'm not telling anybody that doesn't e-mail me and ask. that's the only way that I know that you care... *sniff*

It is a BEAUTIFUL day outside today, I will never make it till 5 o'clock.

Does everyone know how great Cat Power is?

sigh

Please listen to the dream a fresh heart discloses...

When I was a young girl, I never did anything crazy, ever. Unless for some reason you are the type of person who thinks that drinking Diet Pepsi with breakfast is crazy, or getting Cs in high school to piss off your mother is crazy, or laughing because you have an 8-track cassette player in your '79 Pontiac that plays everything at doublespeed so you go and buy Supertramp's Breakfast in America because it kind of sounds like that anyway and then you drive around town playing it loud with the windows down and laughing... is crazy. But my youth by most people's standards was fairly, well o.k. completely uneventful.

But I'm doing something crazy now.

Barbara Jackson has more than one actual problem

try it!

Barbara Jackson's Existing Situation
Works well in cooperation with others but is disinclined to take the leading role. Needs a personal life of mutual understanding and freedom from discord.

Barbara Jackson's Stress Sources
Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

Barbara Jackson's Restrained Characteristics
Feels that she cannot do much about her existing problems and difficulties and that she must make the best of things as they are. Able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity. Reowrr.

Wants to broaden her fields of activity and insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic. Distressed by the fear that she may be prevented from doing what she wants; needs both peaceful conditions and quiet reassurance to restore her confidence.

Feels that she is burdened with more than her fair share of problems. However, she sticks to her goals and tries to overcome her difficulties by being flexible and accommodating.

Willing to become emotionally involved and able to achieve satisfaction through sexual activity, but tries to avoid conflict.

Barbara Jackson's Desired Objective
Longs for a tender and sympathetic bond and for a situation of idealized harmony. Has an imperative need for tenderness and affection. Susceptible to anything esthetic.

Barbara Jackson's Actual Problem
Seeks to avoid criticism and to prevent restriction of her freedom to act, and to decide for herself by the exercise of great personal charm in her dealings with others.

Barbara Jackson's Actual Problem #2
Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her objectives.

You look bored. Now let's play pleasure time!

Far Away starts tonight. I'm so excited! I think it's going to be really good. I get butterflies when I think about it! Which is an extremely funny thing to say, given my character's circumstances (i'm not going to tell you, you have to come see it. Or read it. Meh)

O.K., here's something I don't like much. I sit at a desk next to a HUGE, beauteous, 27 thousand dollar color printer. It's marvy and everyone wants to use it all the time, and that's fine, except when people decide that they want to hang out after hours and use my computer for whatever it is they're doing. I came in today and it was on, and someone had used like 8 ga-billion different personal programs to make some kind of photo-type thing. And people surf here when I'm on my lunch hour, which I find DEPLORABLE, since I am not allowed to do that (but obviously from this post you can see that I am a total bad ass and do it anyway). The thing is that we all have the same password. Different logins, but they're not private. And no one signs out when they're surfing on my computer, they're just logged in as me. So they could be looking at porn or terrorism, and it looks like it's me. And that's poopy.

O.K., I'm having tea with someone this afternoon, and I just don't know what to say about it. I just don't know. What to say.

blappity!

O.K., people that haven't seen it should watch The Eyes of Tammy Faye. It is actually a really interesting documentary, and I have concluded (as have many who have seen this film), that although she is clearly a majorly eccentric person, (and I could only be going on what I know about her and her sock puppets let alone everything else), Tammy Faye is deep down someone that it would not be bad to know. A friend of a friend of mine rented it as a joke and ended up being so moved by it that he reconnected with family he hadn't spoken to in years. And I thought the things La Faye had to say about her struggle with Jerry Falwell's idiocy to be very affirming as well. I mean, it is perfect camp, but it's also honestly quite beautiful at times. Definitely recommended.

Also, I know that no one that reads this can possibly come and see Far Away, but I wish you could!!! It's amazing.

can't touch this

Gay people dance better than straight people. I was at a party on Saturday night and I can't believe how awesome the dancing was. I've officially decided that I am a straight queer person. I had this discussion with my friend Sherene and apparently the term "queer" can apply to anybody, regardless of their gender/sexual identification, so that's what I am then. Most of my friends at the co-op are queers, and I fit in so well with them, and they're the most well-adjusted, sane people I know... and I have to say that the antidote to heartbreak is hanging around with some funny feminist lesbians. Or at least, the ones I am lucky enough to know. So that's that.

Also... o.k. I don't know what to say about this. I am getting what I believe to be are moves put upon me by someone that is significantly younger than me, like at LEAST 10 years younger. It's weird. I mean, there is another young man in the theatre department who (it's said) has big pants for me, but I think it's similar to someone having a crush on a teacher, like you think they're neat-o but you would never DO anything about it. But this other whipper-snapper is asking me on a date-ish thing, and naturally, I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll say no somehow, without hurting feelings. Or maybe I'll go and talk about bunions and AARP the whole time.

mew!

I am SO happy for you, Velveteen! Congratulations and many happy returns. This is so fantastic, particularly in light of the new addition to the family (Vyvyan). Yay!

I am trying not to spendy-spendy at the furious pace of yore, now that I am going to go be a poor student. That's gonna be weird, folks. I'm so used to eating out all the time and buying mass amounts of clothing at the Second Act, my very favorite consignment-vintage-costume shop of ever. I'm going to have to rein it in.

The play that I'm in right now? Amazing. Technically, it's the most complex things I'll probably ever be in. The three scenes take place in three different theatres within the building and the audience has to get up and move from theatre to theatre between each scene. For me, the best part is that I get to have a huge burn on the left side of my face in the third scene, and I have successfully lobbied to have a little tab put under the makeup on my face that pulls my lower eyelid down so I look even more disfigured!!! I'm so excited.

I still can't believe I'm leaving this town... *sigh!*

O.K.

That's all that I can say. I am, like, filled with the milk of human kindness today. I've been doing 20 minutes of Yoga in the mornings, only for 2 days have I been doing this, but jeepers. I notice a difference!

Also, I told people I'm leaving for school. It's true. I am. I took an offer at the school that I believe is best for me and i am going there. I can still come back and visit all the time, and I totally will do that (there are no co-operatives in Bloomington), because I am going to miss it here like crazy. I'm so glad I get this summer to be here with my friends. I'm just going to miss everyone SO MUCH...

*sigh*