i feel happiness when i eat potato

It's cold
It's hot
It's cold
It's freezing
Is that snow?!
It's April
It's tepid
It's cold ever and ever.

WIND!!!! WIND!!!!!

allebmu wen a deen i

*****

That's a poem I wrote about the last three days in Chicago.

Sooooo....

My face blew up. I am in the throes of my first attack of the TMJ, and if anyone tells you that they have this, look concerned. Ask if they're o.k. and maybe, if you can, offer help. Because if you don't you will be resented, and possibly killed. I swear, this is just terrible. The pain started last Wednesday and persisted for six days straight. I went to the dentist on Friday who thought the pain was emanating from a bad filling, so he replaced it, and well, it's nice that that got taken care of, but the pain was STILL GOING ON, so I went back to my dentist on Monday and he gave me a referral to a surgeon and some Vicodan, which I was really happy about because I've heard all this stuff about how the drug is terrible and addictive and it ruins lives, and I thought, well, this stuff's got to be AWESOME, but there was absolutely NO CHANGE in the level of pain I was experiencing. I was bereft, and of course I have to live in the one neighborhood in Chicago where there are no crack dealers on the corner. Finally, my friend Jeremy who is a good, good man and also a chiropractor heard about my predicament and said he would treat me for free because like I said, he is a good, good man. But even after the first treatment on Monday, my face still hurt, hurt, HURT. I kept thinking of the scene in Fargo when Steve Buscemi's character gets shot in the face, and thinking yep. That's what this is like pretty much. And then I got the bright idea to slather my face in Bio-Freeze, which is this menthol rub for arthritis and now I feel pretty o.k. So I have a tube of it with me all the time. Anbesol in the mouth, Bio-Freeze on the cheek, and Ibuprofen in the belly and it's all good in the hood, as my Afro-American co-worker says.

Jeremy is really great, though. He is doing all this swami-hocus-pocus chiropractic stuff that I LOVE. But here's the thing. He wants me to start eating meat. He's concerned about my digestive system and he says that the best thing would be for me to eat some BEEF, of all things. So I was thinking I would try Korean BBQ. Which is probably not what he has in mind, but I can't just EAT BEEF. YUCK. It has to have sugary sauce on it. Or breading. Or maybe I could eat a Whopper.

I actually went to the store and looked around at the meat selection, and I have to say, I'm sorry but it's a nasty, bloody mess and I'm really not interested. And they were handing out samples of roasted turkey, so I said I would take some and I walked away with it because I wanted a private place to deal with eating it, so I went down an empty aisle and I was poking at this dead bird in a paper cup with a plastic fork and it was all brown and wet and slippery and it smelled gross and it suddenly was so simultaneously repulsive and depressing that I just couldn't do it.

That being said, I eat fish.

What is my problem? Why can I eat some dead things and not others? Fish are sentient beings... aren't they? I need to look up sentient and make sure. But dead fish taste great. Although I have to say, I'm not really into fish that have bones still in, or skin still on. That's gross and I won't eat it. So... I think I just need stuff to be ground up.

Although they had these bison burgers at Trader Joe's and so I took a look at those, but when I opened the box the frozen patties were all red-looking, and it was too graphic. And the chicken breasts had the white icky part and some blood also, so they were out. There's no way I'm eating ham, or lamb, or bacon...

I like beans.
Snaeb ekil I!