for the sake of everyone's enjoyment please do pick the flowers

O.K. I'm back!

It's been hard for me to find time to blog. The first few weeks of rep are always really busy and exhausting, especially when you have to move the entire contents of your apartment into temporary housing. Which is even harder to do when you don't have a car. And which is so much easier and nicer when you...

DO.

Yes, people. I have a car now. I have 1996 Ford Crown Vic. Yes, it is a cop car. Yes, people compulsively slow down when I drive by. Yes, I have purchased aviator sunglasses to wear while driving it, so as to enhance my cop-like appearance.

It's my stepmom's old ride, and she decided that it was easier to give it away than to sell it. Who am I to argue.

I HAVE A CAR.

You have no idea how happy I am. I HATED being carless. The only good thing about not having a car is having more money than usual. But I just had to blow it all on therapy because I hated not having a car so much. Don't ever let me tell you that not having a car is fine with me, because it isn't and I'm lying. In Iowa City, it was different, but even then, I think I would have been peevish if I had to walk to the Crowded Closet and The Second Act for my weekly rummage.

Can I just tell you that I especially love that my car is enormous? It has big, plush bench seats that seem brand-new. And a trunk you could fit at least three bodies in. And the drink-holder! Have I mentioned the drink-holder? It's fucking amazing!

I really like my car.

O.K., so a few more things have happened. The thing that's really on my mind right now is my future career in radio. O.K. here we go. So we do voice-overs in our voice class this semester, where we work with a technician to record actual commercials and yadda yadda yadda, and it's really fun and I really am attracted to the thought of making money for doing jack SHIT. So when my friend Mike asks me to do voice over work for the Shakespeare Festival I say YES. So he sends the commericals to local radio stations, and this one station in Peoria, calls the Festival office and asks who I am and wants to hire me for something. So I'm like rock on, here begins my career of getting money for doing absolutely fuck-all jack shit nothing at all. So the lady calls me directly and says she wants me to audition to be a DISK JOCKEY. FOR OLDIES RADIO. Specifically, 60s and 70s oldies radio. They have a dearth of female voices, it appears, and they are looking for women just like me to announce songs like "Love Grows Where My Rosemary Grows" and "Heartbeat It's a Lovebeat."

This is, in short, completely awesome.

Here's the problem: I'd have to live in Peoria.

Peoria.

As in, "That's not going to play in Peoria."

As in, the home of poo.

So I kinda told them I wasn't interested. The woman is still submitting my tape for the job, but probably nothing will come of it. I spent all this time getting an MFA in acting so I could be a deejay in Peoria?

I don't know. What do you all think?