insert beginning of music from Star Wars here

O.K. here's the voice over part:

Yesterday, April 18, 2006, Cats was tested.

(Insert image of Cats doing two handed rapier/dagger fighting in slow motion)

With a rapier and a dagger, Cats defended she territory and did it without spraying.

(Insert close-up of cats eyes)

And on April 18th, 2006, Cats were awarded their certificate from the Society of American Fight Directors.

(insert picture of Cats getting a piece of paper from a guy. dress him up like Princess Leia.)

Tune in later to see if Cats can get her unarmed combat certification this summer!!!

A Mao!