collective heterosexual scenario and turn the women red

My beautiful magical Iowa City got beaten up by a tornado! I am assured that all are o.k.... but what a scary thing. Apparently the houses all around Summit sustained damage, but not Summit itself. Even the tomato tent in the yard is o.k. That's one of the most frightening things about tornadoes, the randomness of their paths of destruction. !Yet another thanks to the Creator of All Things for sparing my beautiful friends and the house that I still consider home even though I don't live there!

Events like this make me hate being car-less all the more. I just wanted to pack up and head over SO much last weekend, but could not do it. I would have had to bicycle. And I think I probably would have lost hope of ever getting to my destination at a certain point, and then decided to just live wherever I fell off of my bike, just washing dishes or doing some kind of manual labor for a living. And that wouldn't work out, because I'm not very self-disciplined, so I would have had to live on the streets eating out of dumpsters and begging for people to let me into their homes so that I could finish watching 100 Hottest TV Hotties on E! Then I'd finish watching the program and realize that even the Hottest Hottie would soon be an old woman or man, and that to everything there is a season, and sometimes it's tornado season and sometimes it's not. And then I'd get inspired and make a countdown show based on Ten Minutes' Worth of Random Thoughts Explained, hosted by Carnie Wilson and Neil Young. And it doesn't necessarily have to be their random thoughts (because that's not random enough), it can be anybodys'. And I make a million dollars off this swell idea and use the money to rebuild tornado-torn Kittyville, Iowa, Home of the Cat.