I am an impatient person. Should I just say yes to this aspect of myself? Or should I work on it and become the soul of patience? If there weren't impatient people like me, things wouldn't happen as rapidly as they do sometimes. Because there would be no one in line shifting her weight from foot to foot and sighing loudly. There would be no one pissing everyone off by making the suggestion for how to do things more efficiently and even though no one ever likes that person, things are improved by her having spoken up and said something.

O.K. moving on. Sort of. Something that dating a really authentically nice guy has shown me is that I am one neurotic beeyotch. I overthink EVERYTHING, and I'm very impatient, and I'm always trying to second-guess every situation so I can somehow avoid the surprise of pain or embarrassment by assuming that the pain is coming already, thereby fulfilling the prophecy my own self with my assumptions, but STILL there is some small satisfaction in having KNOWN it was coming all along. This is the first real relationship I've had since The Hindenburg, and I'm finding that I'm quite gunshy.

Should I just go on happy pills? A bunch of my friends have recently decided to go on antidepressants to handle stress and issues and stuff, and I totally support their decisions. I had never really considered doing that myself, I don't know why I just never did. But they are happier, remarkably so. I used to be the one giving people pep talks about being at ISU and stuff, and now they're doing that for me. And I think to myself, perhaps some drugs would be nice.

I don't know. Sometimes I get so nervous, and then I think of a baby saying "I like to move it,move it" and then putting their thumb back in their mouth so hilarious that I laugh and forget to worry (thanks, Amy).

I love you guys. G'night.