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1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?
Missy Elliot

2. What was the last song you listened to?
Some Summers The Drop Like Flies, by the Dirty Three

3. What's in your CD player right now?
Supa Dupa Fly, by Missy Elliot

4. What song would you say sums you up?
I think it's called Start All Over Again, the version sung by Ella Fitzgerald. For realsies.

5. What's your favorite local band?
Here?! Girl, please.

6. What was the last show you attended?
The Decembrists

7. What was the greatest show you've ever been to?
Of Montreal

8. What's the shittiest band you've ever seen in concert?
I would love to say G.G. Allin, I understand he was quite the poo-smith, but I regret to say I never went to a show...

9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
I don't even know any members of bands, so I can't know if I hate them or not.

10. What is the most musically involved you have ever been?
Musically involved? I don't play music. So you must mean that obsessive-lust thing that people get for bands. If I am correct in thinking that, I wanted to hump the crap out of everyone in U2 for my entire high school career. There. I said it.

11. What show are you looking forward to?
I am not at this time looking forward to any shows. But I may go see Of Montreal again... I'm not certain.

12. What is your favorite band shirt?
Gotta be the Stevie Wonder shirt. It's Chad Lowe-approved, people.

13. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Eugene Hutz. Meeeeee-YOWZA!

14. What musician would you like to hump for a day?
See above. And I repeat: Meeeeeee-yabbadabbadoooooooo!

15. Metal question-Jeans and Leather vs. Cracker Jack clothes?
I... what? Am I high all of a sudden? What the hell are you talking about?

16. Sabbath or solo Ozzy?
I am from the Midwest, and so I am genetically modified to like Black Sabbath. And indeed, I'm going off the rails. On a crazy train.

17. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie?
See question 15.

18. Blackjack or solo Michael Bolton?
15.

19. Doesn't Primus suck?
That's mean.

20. Name 3 flawless albums:
Rachel's, Systems/Layers
Wilco, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Dirty Three, Whatever You Love, You Are*
*There are many perfect albums, these are but three.

21. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
If filling it out makes you a geek, what does writing it and spreading it around on the Internet make you? BURN!!!

22. What was the greatest decade for music?
This is a question for a boy. You people top five everything! Why do you DO that?

23. How many music-related videos/dvds do you own?
I have a bunch of U2 videos, but they're at my mom's house. I don't need them anymore. If you know what I mean.

24. Do you like Journey?
YES. And I would like to state for the record that I have the same haircut as Early-80s Steve Perry. Not on purpose, it just kind of happened. But I'm not sorry, I like it.

25. Don't try to pretend you don't!
Who's pretending, clown??

26. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
Grasshopper, I know not "favorite." How does one say Breaking the Waves is better or worse than Purple Rain? Pollster, in your impulsiveness and quickness to judge, you remind me of myself when I was a girl.

27. What was your last musical "phase" before you wisened up?
This is a hipster catch-22 that I am smart enough to see! If I answer this at all, then automatically there are ten ga-billion smelly people in fake vintage to tell me that El DeBarge is cool and I'm an asshole for not seeing that. Well, guess what, pollster? I'm on to your little game. And I think everything, yes, EVERY DAMN THING, is FUCKIN' A COOL, MUFUCKAH!

28. What's the crappiest CD/record/etc you've ever bought?
You just don't give up, do you! I am Stephen Douglas to your Abe Lincoln, except your are not going to win this debate, BUTTASS!!

29. Do you prefer vinyl or CD's?
You've left out cassette TAPES. Therefore, I refuse to complete this survey.

Oh, wait, I'm done. Crap.