You'll NEVER believe it...

You'll never believe it, but last night at The Wash House Laundromat in Normal, Illinois I met QUINCY JONES' COUSIN! I am not kidding you! He came right up to me and started talking to me like he was just folks! So down to earth, not like some other celebrities' cousins I could mention. AND... and this is the kicker... he confirmed for me the suspicion that I have had ever since I was a girl... that what I really ought to be doing is modeling. Modeling erotic lingerie, specifically. You know, I have felt for so long that there was something out there for me beyond Religious Studies. That I was somebody "special". Now, I know it's TRUE! I'm filled with a new sense of purpose. I think I was just waiting for a sign... or for Quincy Jones' cousin to just put my dream into words.

Well, you know, when speaking to Quincy Jones' cousin about my future career, I demurred initially, but only because I didn't want to seem too desperate (though, truly, I am!!!). Unfortunately, Quincy Jones' real live cousin took my coyness for lack of interest and left the Wash House with his lovely pregnant sister, and all his nieces and nephews in tow (isn't it so nice of him to insist on taking his sister and her family to the laundromat when he was so clearly falling-down drunk?).

I still have hope, though! Quincy Jones' cousin!!! If you're out there and you're reading this, CALL ME!!!